So this is where I'll be in nine days. NINE. Days. Dear God, where did time go? Is it hiding somewhere? Under the sofa, perhaps? In the kitchen cabinet? Don't be ridiculous, it can't just be gone, can it?

Can it?

Oh well. If you look at 'News and Choirs', you'll see a picture of us - I'm the one in the back row looking more than a little sedated - and I hope you all agree that if nothing else, we're definitely the cutest choir. That has to count for something - right? But seriously, I'm really looking forward to this trip, except the part where we actually have to get there, which involves no less than six different means of transportation over perhaps fourteen hours. Underground to the train station - train to the airport - plane to Milan - the Malpenza express train to the real Milan (disconcertingly enough this can be directly translated into 'the bad thoughts express' - and I thought I was already on that!) - another train, this time for three hours, to Rimini - and finally a bus and a walk, or perhaps a cab to the hostel, depending on how late we get there. Not sure how I feel about that, but I'm thinking what I'll be feeling the most when we get there will be hunger.

But I mean, hungry in Italy, it could be worse, 'ey?

I've been having a fat couple of fat weeks. Probably because I've been eating badly and I'm actually getting fat, but that's beside the point (also, Julie? Shut up). That happens occasionally.

By 'occasionally', I mean 'every time I have some big important party to go to and really really really need to look good'.

So I took this quiz, 'What's your magic number for weight loss?' Why not, right? La-di-da. How is my metabolism? How much do I want to lose? How much do I crave starchy foods? I have no idea, I just ticked boxes more or less at random to see what would happen, and if there was any useful information waiting at the end of the line, uh, quiz.

Well, firstly, no. If I eat 1200 calories per day I will at some point lose weight. No shit, Sherlock. But what surprised me the most was what happened in the 'waiting room', you know, 'please hold on for five seconds while the results are being processed and we sneak in an advertisement, because we are Americans, and that's what we do'. The advertisement was for Twix Caramel Cookie Bars.

I wonder how many of those will fit into my 1200-calorie day.